I haven’t spent the night here for a few months now until last night. I came into town yesterday. Tia moved to Lafayette just the other night, I stopped by and unloaded some things that I no longer needed, had pizza. I finished out the night by taking Elaine out for Ice Cream to celebrate graduating with her Doctorate.
I suppose I’ll say goodbye to Alyssa while I’m here as well, but only by ceremoniously disposing of further items I continue to run across of hers in this townhome.
There was once a king who would sleep on his bathroom floor once a month to stay humble. Enough time and mental space has passed for this place to feel alien, but it is still emotionally difficult to be here. Thankfully I was tired enough to fall right asleep.
I would have laughed my ass off if you told me that I’d become a minimalist, move into an RV, and live on the road just a few short months ago. I would have likely looked at you with scorn if you told me I’d start living my life for my own goals and dreams.
Am I happy? Yeah, I’ve been happy. Do you ever do something really challenging then feel accomplished, fulfilled afterwards? That’s my life almost everyday. I’m growing leaps and bounds and while sometimes exhausting, it feels incredible.
It’s difficult to know how much you should share in a public space, at least in one that you are willing to share that is associated with your name. Coworkers, family members, friends, enemies, oh my.
Vulnerability is important, but not everyone should be let in. Some things are better left unsaid.
Today I launch a secret blog.. YES A SECRET BLOG. Wait, no. I don’t like that. How about an anonymous blog? Yes, that’ll do. It isn’t secret, it’s publicly available on the internet. It isn’t secret to those who matter.
I do have some goals I’d like to set for this one:
Featured images, consisting of my own work from now on
“Safe for work” content. Would I share what I’m writing with friends, family members?
You watch as I unfold Flower petals brushing the wood floors I stand upon, barefoot Dusty with my voice box but easy with my overflow I can map my body I can connect the dotted lines of my freckles point to what hurts trace the parts that feel like sun here is my river water here are the eroded rocks here are all the things I want to become and am becoming watch my telephone wires fall to the asphalt then rise back up again, reconnected I can bend myself backwards while maintaining eye contact do you know how many leaves must fall from an oak before it is bare? I am always giving myself away to the cloud dust to the seashells to the places I have never been but lust after in the dark of the night pouring over images of mountains and streams cacti, flocks of birds, bright painted buildings there was once a girl that wrote a story and in it, we were looking underneath lilypads and her words were pretty and emotional and right but you are real you are not mist rising over a field you are firmly present, planted, happening.